"Hey Shikha, what do you think of her?"
This is the awkward moment when your friend hands over his phone to check out a girl's Instagram profile. The arrival of the internet has facilitated many things, but complicated several aspects of relationships and dating in general. Now, we have to analyze people twice: in-person and on the internet. For friends like me, the work has doubled.
As I bite into my pizza slice (the prize of my day), I mumbled, "I'm sure she is wonderful. She is great and nice and everything to desire and...Oh my god, this pizza is divine. I almost have tears in my eyes."
"Seriously, Shikha. Look."
With the phone shoved into my face, I have no choice, but to actually take time off from my pizza slice. I scrolled down this girl's Instagram photos, and I can't help but notice that every picture is a picture of herself. Immediately, I get an intuitive sense that she's insecure, but I would rather not disappoint him as I continue chewing on my pizza slice.
"Shikha, what do you think?"
"Hmmm, she seems nice......" I quickly scavenged through her pictures to find something positive. The only aspects that I could find were, "her smile. I like her smile. I wish I could pose like that too except I would probably laugh at myself like I always do. Oh, this outfit is great, and her eyeliner is on point here. Can you ask her to teach me how to wing it? I like her eyebrows in this picture. Do you like her?" Yes, it's always best to ask your friend whether he/she likes the person. It helps you decide whether he/she is ready to hear the truth.
"I like her, but..... I don't know. I have to compliment her a lot, and she doesn't hear it."
"Ummmmhmmmmmmm..." At this point, I have reached the crust of my pizza slice, the best part.
"She seems insecure..."
"Ya dude, look at her Instagram. She has two-hundred and one photos of just her face. I think the only time you have permission to do that is if your face is turned into tasteful art (classy selfies do exist), your account is private (cause you only want "close" friends to see your face), you're famous in real life, or you are a makeup artist. On the other hand, you post pictures of half-eaten food, empty plates, overly-contrasted flower photos, your unattractive toes in the sand, selfies with your round glasses cause you think that you are hipster, blurred sunset pics, cocktail pics with the flash on, and your espresso drink. But, it's OK; Instagram was made for collecting photos and displaying them to the world. I'm just not sure when Instagram turned into Myspace with the #selfienation movement."
"Hmmm, nice blow Shikha. I'll think twice and of you before I post my next picture. I guess this is what happens when you have a friend who is a photographer."
"Don't worry, I'm still following you. You are welcome. I'll get you a mobile photography course for Christmas."
"Wow...........I'm not even going to respond to that. But, why do girls post so many selfies?"
"Why do guys post just as many selfies?"
"Guys don't post as many selfies."
"Wait, let me show you..."
After five minutes...
"Here, look at this," I said.
"Wow, that's a lot of photos of just one dude's face."
"What's happening to us?"
"It's the beginning of our demise. Our deep decay. Imagine pulling out your selfie stick just before you are about to die....The last selfie of your life. The last moment saved on your iPhone Millie X. "
"Please don't do that Shikha."
"That sounds like an exciting thing to do. What if my last selfie is auctioned off like a piece of art? Art and photographs always sell after a morbid or interesting death of an artist."
"Ok, Shikha. The point is that we have become really narcissistic."
"We were always narcissistic! Look at all the paintings people have painted of themselves. Those are antic selfies. We need to feel valued and loved. Do you know the story of Narcissus? He saw his reflection in the water and fell in love with it. Eventually, he killed himself because he couldn't have the object of his lust (himself). So, the moral of the story is that vanity can kill us slowly. Too much of anything kills us."
"Basically, a selfie from time-to-time is nice, but too many selfies raises a red flag."
"Honestly, if you think she's insecure and draining your energy, then just let her go. I'm getting another slice of pizza."
"Finally, you've come full circle!"