The more I watch people, the more aware I am of their high expectations towards life. This is not the correct way to live nor is it the path that will bring you happiness. When we expect, we automatically set ourselves up for disappointment. What's much more unfortunate is that a large population of our world is stuck in this trap.
As we create expectations about how others should be, we give room to guilt and resentment. What upsetting feelings to have! Eventually, this becomes a negative cycle as we continue to expect things to be a certain way.
Here are some examples:
- He should be doing this, because I do all of this.
- Dating should be ______, but all of the guys I am meeting are not living up to it.
- My friend never calls me back, and I always try to keep in touch. She should put in more effort.
- I should be getting a promotion, but my boss never notices what I do.
- My son doesn't care about me. He should show more respect towards me. He should do more things for me.
- This guy never calls me back. He should put in more effort. I feel upset that this is not working out.
- She's so last minute. She should get more organized, because this is beginning to annoy me.
- My co-worker should put in more effort in this report. I am sick of picking up after her.
The word should is detrimental to all relationships. In fact, it is one word in English that must not be used unless you enjoy bringing resentment in your life. If it were me, then I would pack the word should in a Fedex box, place it on a rocket, and allow it to self-destruct in the middle of the celestial universe. Kaboom! Explode! Fireworks! Fireworks that we cannot see...But, you get the gist of it.
When we build up all of this nonsense guilt and resentment within us, we begin to project our bitterness onto others. Now, honestly, tell me why you would want to become a victim? Instead, start seeing others in a compassionate manner. All of us are trying to do our best at the present moment, and we cannot succumb to everyone's expectations. That would be waaaaay too exhausting to do.
The next time you feel that you are expecting too much, take a deep breath and release all of the tension as you exhale. Try to replace your expectations with gratitude and watch how magical everything will become. Remember, what you put out there is what you receive!