There comes a point in life when your heart becomes heavy from the inability to forgive others. To a certain extent, it's completely fine to feel resentment; however, when this is turned into a grudge, then it's high time to let go.
I wrote down the names of people that have emotionally affected my wellbeing over the course of time. There were several that I cut off from my life completely, but the resentment still lingered. It felt silly that I was upset at people who didn't even know that I was. It's usually very easy for me to forgive and to close the chapter completely. However, I found myself saying statements such as:
Why should I move on?
Why should I forgive?
What do I get from being nice/kind?
Why should I let go?
They deserve the worst experiences in life.
When you wish horrible things to happen to someone, then this backfires on you. You give room to more negative energy within you, which heightens negative events in your life. This is why those who gossip about others end up creating toxic environments in their lives.
Every time I found myself saying that I hated them or wanted the worst events to happen to them, I quickly caught and asked myself why I wanted this. Of course, the answer is usually, "they hurt me." But, by acting like this, how am I different from them?
I changed the course of my energy towards this statement:
I want them to find the light that will make them acknowledge the grief that they have given me.
When someone acknowledges what he or she has put someone else through, it is powerful enough to end grief and for the other person to forgive him or her. On a side note, everyone develops spiritually at a different pace and there are some that do not develop at all (very sad). We do not know when acknowledgement will occur or whether it will even happen.
The least you could do is with an open-heart send them kind, positive words, letting them know that you are forgiving them. For some, this may take weeks, months, or years, because resentment will come forth. This is your mind trying to shield you from more pain (defense mechanism). Do not stop grief from flowing out of your body, because that will turn into a grudge. Instead, feel the sadness and let yourself know that you don't need to carry this burden anymore.
Remember that when you forgive others, you forgive yourself. Therefore, you are reducing self-hatred and creating an opportunity to heal. You do not have to worry about seeking justice through revenge, because our dear friend Karma will pull out her sword at those who consciously hurt you in the past. We all know how vicious she can be!