Costume Fail ft. Mika

Greetings fellow humans, 

This is an exhibition of one of the most painful days of my life, Halloween. I was forced to wear a horrible costume that did not even fit me. Why do I have to look like a green monster? Oh, I mean a "friendly" CATerpillar. Why do I have to be a caterpillar? Why couldn't I be a bat cat? Or super cat? Or spider cat? Really Shikha? REALLY? 

I was in shock that Shikha put me through this.  

I was in shock that Shikha put me through this.  

Do I get treats for this?

Do I get treats for this?

I suffered in silence as I contemplated on how to get this costume off. 

I suffered in silence as I contemplated on how to get this costume off. 

I managed to take it off as Shikha gasped in shock. Yes, I am a strong cat. 

I managed to take it off as Shikha gasped in shock. Yes, I am a strong cat. 

Unbelievable....... At least, I look handsome. 

Unbelievable....... 

At least, I look handsome. 

I decided to punch my costume. Just because. 

I decided to punch my costume. Just because. 

Then, I groomed myself for three hours.

Then, I groomed myself for three hours.

The end. 

Winners were Losers who Tried Again by Mika a.k.a. the Best Blogger on Planet Earth

I am awake at dark, then at a little light, then at a little more light, then... I sense something. I am hungry. 

This is how I sleep. 

I sleep by Shikha's feet, by Shikha's face (hearing her breath), by Shikha's hair, by Shikha's fingers, by Shikha's hair, by Shikha's face, and by Shikha's feet. 

This is how I sleep. 

I patrol our studio like it is my duty. We do not need a guard, because I shield her from bad shadows, and it is my duty to wake Shikha up when she sees them in her dreams. 

4:44 AM  - Shikha is seeing bad shadows in her dreams 

Quick! I must act. I have decided to meow. 

Meeeeeeowwww

I sound too sweet. I must make a screeching meow, the meow that hurts your ears. 

MEEEEEEEEOOOOOWWW MEOW MEW MEW MAAAAAAAAAWWWW

Great, she is not dead. She moved a little. But, bad shadows are still there. I must try again!  I heard that winners were just losers who tried again. I am not a loser. I will win this conquest! 

MEOW MEOW MEOWW MAWWW MEW MEW WAAAM MEWWW MEOWWWW MAAAAAWWWW

She has given me a very mean look, but she's still floating between two worlds. 

I must do something! I decide to run back and forth in our studio, making sure that my nails hit the ground. They're making the sound of, "CLICK CLICK CLICK CLEEEK CLEEEK" and the sound amplifies as I run faster. I should have been a leopard instead of fluffy, white and grey cat, such a waste of my great talent. 

Shut up Mika! I will throw you out of the window if you don't! 

English sounds so ugly when she speaks like that. Don't worry, she will not throw me out of the window. She is just cranky. But, I must save her from the bad shadows! 

I see a pen on the coffee table along with some books and random objects. I have decided to throw them all on the floor. One by one, I push each object off the coffee table. As I push each one, I watch her flinch in irritation. 

We make eye contact. 

I am in trouble. 

Her gigantic eyes are warning me. I know that if I do something else, then she will get out of bed like Frankenstein (remember his scary story?) just to chase me around our studio. The idea of it sounds frightening, but.....I am not a loser. 

I decide to resort to my last option: the blinds. 

Carefully (I have mastered this art), I run my right paw through the blinds in an upward and downward motion. At first, it is slow, then I check whether I caught her attention. Yes, I did, because she is giving me the death stare (at least she is partially awake now). Quickly and with great skill, I speed up my movement, and we can hear the powerfully annoying sounds of the blinds, "CREEK CREEK CREEK CREEEEEEK CREEEEK CREEEEEK CREEEEEEEEEEEK." 

She is awake and decides to run after me so that she can catch me to punish me by suffocating me in a horrible horrible horrible loooooooong horrible hug. Ugh, horrible, suffocating hug. Yuck. 

She is too tired to run; instead, she walks to the kitchen to...........

FEED ME. 

YES, I have won! I have won! I am the winner! WINNER. 

This plan always works. 

Oh, what bad shadows? 

Human reader, I'm pretty sure that I told you that I was hungry. 

PS - We would like to thank our three-hundred and sixty-three (yes, I had to type it out) human subscribers for reading our posts (I won't tell Shikha that you only come here for my posts). We like you a lot fellow humans! High paw five! 

Research Findings by Mika a.k.a. the Best Blogger on Planet Earth

Humans are extremely complex creatures to understand. For you to grasp this, I must explain to you my research findings.

My human, Shikha is the most annoying person to study, because of her unpredictable behaviors.

This human is awake at the crack of dawn with her eyes shut, facing a wall and smoke is coming out of wooden stick. Humans like to call this smoky stick incense, and this performance is called meditation. Now, I don’t understand what is the big deal about meditation, because I meditate all of the time. During my deep practice, I think about how I can dominate this planet with my superior intelligence, but Shikha ruins it as she throws an idiotic toy in my face. Seriously, do I look like a dog to you? Nonetheless, the thought of taking over the world drains me out, so I always end up taking a long, powerful catnap. I need energy to take over the world so I will definitely nap first.

Read more