Rain

November 22, 2016 - San Francisco, CA - 11:31PM

I'm awake listening to the sound of rain, fully-aware of her polite celebration as she softly hits the ground. She puts up a show for all those who are awake at this hour, and puts others to sleep with her melodious lullaby. She's confident, gentle, and graceful with her demeanor as she makes sure that each raindrop is orchestrated to her kind energy. 

I lay in bed mesmerized and a memory of my childhood comes through. I see a twelve year old listening to one of the world's most powerful thunderstorms in Kinshasa, D.R.Congo as she tosses and turns in her bed. The thunderstorms get louder and the rain pounds on the wet ground, endorsing the forms of power, hunger, and neediness. Nature's relationship with man is in despair. Each thunderstorm brings forth fear, but the child feels grateful that the roof is strong to bare tension from the rain. 

My attention returns to the present as the rain softly makes an exit. She is now performing a delicate finale as each drop synchronizes with the earth through the assistance of air and space. How did she manage to tune each note so perfectly? It feels mystical. 

Happiness is a Choice

We spend so much time looking at our mistakes and regrets as terrible failures. What would happen if we took the time to switch our perspective on life? In this world, nothing is a waste of time. Experiences that are painful to deal with are merely lessons for you to take and grow from. You either learn the lesson and choose a better path/option when a similar situation comes up, or you can keep repeating the same mistakes until you learn from them and had enough of the situation.

The only reason that we have the tendency to repeat our mistakes is because the other path is uncomfortable. Why is it so? It’s because change is actually uncomfortable, since your mind and body aren’t used to this new direction. Many times, you head back into the direction that isn’t alien to you, and you realize (hopefully you do) how unhappy you are. Oops, three months later (maybe even a year), your world tumbles after you make that realization.

Please congratulate yourself on coming to a realization, because so many people look for excuses to stay in the same comfortably, unhappy situation.

Examples of some excuses are:

  • I’ll stress my loved ones if I make this decision.

  • I’ll never be able to find a better situation than this.

  • Maybe, this is what I deserve.

  • Oh, this happened in the past, it might repeat itself again.

  • Who am I to be happy?

Well, isn’t it a bit strange that we fear being in joy?

Once you’ve had a wakeup call about your state, it’s up to you to change your path. This is why we have freewill. Nothing is going to change or improve until we exert our freewill and make the decision to be happy. After all, happiness is a choice. 

Year Nine

In numerology, each year carries the vibration of a specific number, ranging from one to nine. This means that one cycle consist of nine years, and towards the end of a cycle, we enter a new period. For the year of 2016, when you add up the numbers (2+1+6), you get the vibration of nine. Therefore, whatever happened this year, consisted of finalizing the old chapter, and getting a new chapter ready for the year of 2017. If you felt apprehensive and/or noticed that things were shifting drastically, then you know why.

For many individuals, the shift happened at the very beginning of the year, and for others, the shift will be happening (very drastically) during November and December. Some people may have had their chapter's ending in the beginning of the year, and spent the rest of the year preparing for a new beginning. When I state shift, I mean major life event occurrences such as marriage, new business opportunities/growth, ending of old relationships/divorce, conclusion of a large project, moving to a new country or city, beginning a long-term relationship/marriage, finding a new employment place, moving to a new house/apartment, and etc...

The year nine will make you tie up loose ends and close the door to the past completely. It has been heavy transformational year for many which may have caused us to question our old belief systems and re-visit the past. All the memories that you've been shoving under the table come forth for healing, and all the achievements (small or large) that you've had want your recognition. There may have been times where you were dealing with the past, present, and future all at once (think in one day or week). You might have learnt some important, painful lessons as well, because the vibration of nine is making sure that you won't repeat your mistakes in the next cycle. You may have realized or received the courage to achieve some big dreams in the next cycle. 

Spiritually speaking, nine is also an awakening of consciousness and realization of your true purpose. All the light workers and humanitarians are being called to take action in the new cycle, and any remnants of karma and ego are being cleared off completely. After these two months, we will be entering the vibration of one with all the wisdom that we acquired along with a fresh perspective on life. Move through November and December gracefully and know that all the pieces are being put together for you. In other words, think of it as the season finale of your show. Don't be disheartened, because the upcoming season is going to be much more epic than the last one. 

Change your Narrative, Change your Life

The world is filled with numerable narratives located within our environments, histories, books, internet, dialogues, and last but not least, our minds. Our lives are dictated by our internal monologues, assisting us in helping us make decisions and choices that lead us to different outcomes. A simple technique that allows us to change our lives (for the better) is called narrative therapy. Narrative therapy permits us to reframe our stories and aids us in developing feelings of empowerment with a greater sense of self-compassion. In the following, I will provide to you the DIY method that will assist you to reframe your story. 

The Process  

You can do this with a trusted friend, family member or in front of the mirror. Recite your whole story as you normally would. You may include specific details such as time, dates, environment descriptions and/or any other aspects that you feel is important to your story. As you narrate it, be aware of the emotions that you are projecting. When you are done narrating your story, consider how it makes you feel. 

Did you feel sad, stressed out, fearful and/or powerless? Did you feel happy, blessed, lucky and/or empowered? Write down these emotions and/or talk about it to your close friend/family member. Anything else that strikes you, feel free to write it down. 

What's your role in the story?

In our stories, we always play a certain role: martyr, victim, hero/heroine, failure, winner, rebel, and etc...In the story that you narrated, take note of what role(s) that you were playing and note them down. It is possible that in multiple segments of your life, you may have played different roles. You may organize it by categorizing each segment with a role. For example, ages 7-10: rebel, ages 15-19: failure and ages 30-40: victim.  

The Ending

Towards the end of every story, there's an outcome or a brief statement summarizing the narrative. 

Here are two examples:

  1. "Yes, I felt terrible in the process and like nobody cared, but I was able to overcome ___. Now, I feel like I can follow my purpose."

  2. "Yes, I felt terrible in the process, and every day, I feel even more terrible. I feel that even after going through all of that, no one wants to support me. I wake up thinking, why me?" 

Both endings depict different roles. The first example may show someone who played the role of a victim and ended up becoming a hero. The second may show someone who feels like a victim or martyr and continues to project him/herself as one. 

I Don't Like My Story and/or My Ending 

No problem, create an alternative story. This time, repeat your story by focusing on the positive aspects, and reframe negative situations by focusing on your strengths and abilities that allowed you to overcome them. You may do this by yourself or with the assistance of someone close. In this stage, you are externalizing the issues and stepping out of your story. This allows you to see your story for what it is; instead of allowing yourself to identify with your previous story.  

At this stage, you may feel emotionally drained or stressed out. Allow yourself to take a deep breath. If you are having any form of anxiety, panic or revisiting traumatic experiences, then it would be best to reach out to a therapist. A therapist would provide to you a safe space to contain and process your emotions and memories. 

Conclusion 

Our narratives become our way of viewing the world. The more we identify with certain roles, the more we become those roles. When we are so engraved in our story, it may become challenging to change ourselves. We end up looping the same movie over and over again in our heads. We have the freedom and power to change our stories. We just have to be ready to hear them.  

After all, Socrates said:

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new. 

Meditation Stages

Many of us fear the idea of meditation, while others seek to find ways to learn it. We all know that it requires time, and of course, the ability to become comfortable with ourselves. When I talk about ourselves, I am emphasizing the notion of who we truly are, and not who our mind perceives us to be. Our mind has the capability to create an illusion of who we are and this is the biggest barrier that we must overcome. In the following, I will explain the stages of meditation and how it's possible fight the fear around it. 

Planting the Seed (Stage 1)

In the very early stages, you will feel inclined or curious to learn about meditation. Perhaps, a friend or therapist mentioned it. You will begin to look for ways to learn how to meditate through the Internet, books, and/or possibly attend several meditation meetings. You may give up and say that you don't understand it, there is too much on your plate, and/or you are not fit or patient enough to meditate. Here is the catch: your mind is the one giving you these reasons. 

Wait, what?? Why the heck would I do that to myself?

Well, when you finally get meditation, your mind will have to surrender a.k.a. shut up once and for all. That's basically like asking a dictator to come down his throne and give away his power. Why would your mind allow that to happen? Be aware of all the excuses your mind gives you. 

Sitting with Yourself (Stage 2)

Cool, you got past stage one. Guess what? It doesn't get better. 

Your mind is going to keep sending you thoughts as you try to meditate. The chatter is going to be so useless and loud that you may have a difficult concentrating on your breath. Possibly the longest you can go without listening to your mind's chatter is a minute or maybe thirty seconds (let's be realistic). What do you do? How do you keep going?

Buddy, you just keep going. 

How can I keep going? I'm frustrated and I even bought a pillow to meditate on. 

Then, you have to get your ROI for the pillow you purchased. ;-) 

Jokes apart, what happened to me is that I got very tired of my mind's chatter. It was making me anxious and stressed out for no reason. What you need to do is to find a reason to silence your mind. When you become tired of the master (the mind), only then will you be able to rebel (silence it). 

When you find a reason, you can start with thirty seconds of silence, then everyday, add thirty more seconds of silence to it. After a while, you will be able to meditate for an hour or so. 

Shikha, Sitting with Myself Got Weird (Stage 3) 

Dude, it's normal that it gets weird. You have to become friends with yourself all over again.

Strange memories are going to come forward as you sit on your pillow. Emotions might come to hang out with you as well. You might need to mourn your break up from seven years ago or you might see yourself as a child running through the playground. Whatever it is, meditation (after stages 1 and 2) is all about healing especially at the beginning.

Human beings carry a lot of baggage within them and they hide it in the closets of their mind. This causes them to disassociate from their memories. Meditation forces you to see yourself for who you truly are.

Conclusion 

Many people are afraid to sit with themselves, because they fear who they are. I couldn't meditate for years, because I thought it was so pointless and I had a certain amount of self-loathing established. Finally, I surrendered and said that i would do anything to feel better, because I was fed up. I needed to be happy. I learnt that when the mind takes control, it creates unnecessary stress and anxiety. The only way to regain control of the mind is to silence it, and that is what meditation is all about.