Just when you think that life is over, it begins again.
Again.
And again.
And again.
An exhausting programming that never sets you up for failure.
How can you fail life?
When you chose to be born and to be in the womb of your mother, you agreed that was the darkest period in your life.
All the setbacks.
All the trials.
All the dismays.
All the memories buried in your mind – to never see light again.
Life has a consecutive meaning of being born continuously just as the Winter sprouts into Spring.
Ok, what?
If you think about it, how many times are we going to reset our minds to heal and to continue into a new beginning? In literature, you have the peak then the climax. But in life, you just have never ending circles that collapse into bigger circles. Then, we start believing that we are at the gym on a strenuous treadmill jogging into nowhere.
I want to be optimistic about this. Yes, I do. But, we are in a world of realism and we trip on the concept of surrealism. Smile. It’s not that awful.
Last time, I began again, I thought about the times when the beginnings were fluid and less inclined to cause a state of dementia in my mind. I remember laying flat on the floor with my eyes flooded with tears that could no longer fall and whispered to myself, “I’m trying. Keep trying.” Are individuals who attempt life every day a lot more successful than those who plan life? It’s life man.
It's fluid.
It’s not a liquid.
But it’s not a solid either.
Just disappear into thin air. You’ll be fine dude. Just do it.
The question is – how do you recall the instruction pamphlet for beginning life again? By your thirties, you should be fluent at it. I thought I had it all figured out. I believed that I was experienced on the subject of life after so much trauma in general and having disturbing accounts of sadistic nights in college. Nope.
Not enough.
It’s never enough.
Then, you find yourself mourning begging God to forgive and save you from the internal rage, rapid depression and manic nightmares. This is it. You got it.
This is how you begin again.
No, seriously.
I believe we only know who we are once we sprint to a new beginning.
Then, the cocoon breaks. You will need time to climb the hill to reach a new peak as you attempt to grasp what happened during the last ending.
Cool.
Complex.
Strange.
You are brave dude.
Brave.
With the number of setbacks one has in life, we just become accustomed to the anxiety, depression, sadness and a glass of scotch on the side. We start seeking for safety nets in coping mechanisms such as drugs, alcohol and bags of potato chips along with a warm plate of pizza. Why do we take it so seriously? Why do we damage ourselves if we are so sickened already from the last ending? Do we live in life in a state of coma or is it a deranged mind scrambling to remember the last three months?
The next time we pray, we should probably ask for sanity and rapid healing.
To begin again.
Again.
And again.