Mirror Images

Did you know that your mind has the power to attract the individuals that you want in your life? 

The people you attract in your life are mirror images of you in that present moment. They will be reflecting the vibration/energy that you are carrying. For example, you're in a difficult period of your life; all of a sudden, you meet individuals reflecting this. Don't stress. This could be used to help you see your state of mind that's being shown to you through someone else. When you make a conscious decision about shifting your energy towards an improved state, the previous individuals may fade out in the background. 

The people who remain in your life will be able to raise their energy as you improve and grow on your journey. Basically, you can become a change catalyst by shifting your internal world. But, how can you do this?

You must remember that whatever you don't like about the other person is basically what you don't like about yourself. Whatever you like about the other person is what you like about yourself. Now, our goal should be to find more positives than negatives in ourselves and others. We can do this by practicing self-love and gratitude on our own, and focusing on the positive aspects of life. When you are radiating with love and light, then positive individuals will flock towards you. 

Once in a while, we will meet good individuals who are stuck in the grey zone, which is the space negativity. This energy supports anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, confusion, lack of self-worth and many other not-so-great feelings. Who cares? You like them; so, whatever. You might decide to rescue or fix them. You might want to go on a magic carpet ride and show them the world. You might put up with their noise. You might decide to make them your life-long project. Eventually, time will pass and they still remain stuck in the grey zone. Guess who is accompanying them? You. 

What should you do? We must remember that we are not responsible for other people's lives, and we cannot control anyone. Before we were born on this physical realm, we signed up for one life only. We must give respect to our lives by being authentic, free, and loving towards ourselves and others. This is the best way to live. 

If the individuals in the grey zone decide to shift their energy towards healing, then you might see them pop back into your life. However, sometimes this is a fluke and an impermanent state. They might want to stay in your life, but they might self-sabotage any positive experience they have with you. That's a sign that it's time to say bye bye, because we deserve to have our lives to be filled with unconditional love and happiness. 

My friends do not be afraid to change yourselves, because when you do, your external world changes as well. Remember that all the power is in your mind, and you have the ability to conquer all your fears. Be patient and gentle with yourself, and find something positive in every situation. This is the way to having positive, enlightened life which is our divine right. 

The Journey of the Self (Lesson 5)

Adults like to ask children what they want to be when they grow up. It's a question that slips through their lips when they're trying to gage what the child has predicted for him or herself. It's almost as if they assume that they could have a powerful influence over a child's future. 

When I was in fourth grade, this question was asked to everyone in my class. One by one, each child responded with answers such as, "doctor," "engineer," and "businessman." I looked at these children and wondered whether they would actually follow these career paths. Some of the responses they were providing were mere attempts to please the adult that had questioned them. Every response made the adult smile with pride. 

My friend in front of me answered "artist," and I nodded my head in agreement. I could actually see him following a creative path in the future. When it was my turn, I responded with courage, honesty and certainty: "I will be an artist and a writer." 

The adult said, "What sort of career is that? You will end up nowhere." I felt uncomfortable that someone had just snapped at me in front of the whole class for being truthful about what I wanted to do. 

I sank into my seat, held back my tears, and felt like my self-esteem had just dropped to sub-zero. From that point on, I knew that I was going to hear many adults questioning every single decision I made. In my heart, I knew as well that I was not going to be able to follow stereotypical paths.

My low self-esteem, inability to concentrate and steady depressed state assisted me in failing every test in school. One day, my mother became frustrated and said, "I know that you are a smart child and hate being here. But, if you want to be successful in life, then you will have to study to get out of here." 

Those words changed my life, and learning eventually came easily to me because of my natural curiosity towards everything in life.  Simultaneously, the Internet revolutionized my creativity as it gave me opportunities to learn photography and the art of photo-editing. By the time I was half-way through high school, the same question was posed to me by many adults. 

A part of me wanted to go to art school, so I decided to let an adult know this. The response I received was, "If you go to art school, then you will be like everybody else. Yes, you may not have the technical training, but you can continue learning at your own pace."  

Once again, I felt frustrated as I returned to the drawing room. Then, I decided that I was going to be a psychologist. A South Asian adult responded to my decision with, "That's not what we do, pick something more serious." 

Life somehow brought me back to psychology, creative writing and art, which made me realize that maybe I had to go through a series of peaks and valleys to become certain of who I was. In the process, I met people who were unconscious and chose to follow the safer route. When I tried to do so, I became very depressed and anxious, since I wanted to be like them and less like me. 

When you move from the unconscious (looking outside of the Self) to the conscious (looking inside the Self), the journey can be painful, because you will be facing what Jung calls, the Shadow Self. This consists of fears, repressed ideas, impulses, false beliefs, and etc... Basically, your darker psyche comes forward. The more you question the outside world, the more you will see aspects of your Shadow Self. The more you work with (not against) and question your Shadow Self, the more conscious you become. Dark and light must co-exist in order to illuminate the authentic Self.

Lesson 5:

One size does not fit all. 

Six Things I Learned About Relationships (Lesson 4)

This has been a requested post, and I hope that it will be useful to many of you. 

Relationships can be tricky and require a certain degree of patience and open-mindedness. The quality of any relationship is directly dependant on what you are seeking and what stage of life you are in. Basically, you get to decide what type of relationships you would like to attract. 

In the following, I will talk about six aspects that are important while making and attracting new relationships. 

Expect absolutely nothing

Most people come in with too many expectations on the table. Personally, I think this is a recipe for a disaster. Try to go in not knowing what to think and come out surprised. This principle can be applied to absolutely everything in your life. 

Have something in common

This could be background, hobbies, personalities, vocation, life experiences, and etc... Think of it as a foundation. The things you have in common will create an opportunity to converse and connect at a greater level. 

Spend time

But, how much time? If you're like me, then you are able to figure out from the first meeting whether you're interested in getting to know the person or not. If you pay attention, then you could even know in fifteen minutes. Once you pass this stage, you can proceed to casual meetups. 

When I spoke to one of my best friends at a group meetup for the first time, I knew that I would click with her. We had similar backgrounds and personalities, which gave ample of room to create a great, genuine friendship. Now, we laugh about how we had to formally see each other to finally get to the level of spontaneously meeting. 

Sometimes, you may meet someone that you will know he or she is meant to be in your life. I remember meeting one of my closest friends waiting in line at a threading shop. I knew right away that we will always have each other's backs. Always trust your gut! 

Talk is cheap

A lot of people like to talk about what they have or do. Others even like to fill up conversations with mundane and shallow topics. Some just talk to hear themselves talk. Many will even promise you things just to make themselves look good in front of you. These individuals have low vibrations and it would be best to let them go.  Instead, you want to see what their actions are towards you. 

Communicate, communicate, communicate, and keep communicating

You click and have something in common, and the interation is positive. What is there to lose? 

Make and share memories

Explore, eat, laugh, and create experiences or become awesome couch potatoes together. Years down the line, stories will be shared and passed on. What will they be for you? 

Lesson Five:

All your relationships are reflections of you.

Mosquitto Repellent (Lesson 3)

I've worn mosquitto repellent from the ages of eight to seventeen. 

Every morning, I would open a small, plastic packet of mosquitto repellent, and smother the lotion all over one arm.  When I was younger, I could get away with using two packets, but eventually, I had to use seven to eight packets to cover my skin. The process was so tedious that I would put it on a four minute timer. I believed that the faster I could do it, the less of a nuisance it would be. By the time I was done, I patted my skin to feel the stickiness of the lotion. I wondered whether the humidity would allow the repellent to absorb into my skin. For a second, I pictured myself in a mosquito net onesie battling every unfriendly insect in the Congolese rainforest. However, it was just another day in eight grade, and I would have to do this for four more years. 

"This is so annoying Mom," I complained.

"You have four more years of this. I think you should get used to it," she replied. 

"Nature is so cruel....."

"You know what happens when you don't put mosquito repellent...Your school is a jungle." 

"My school is not a jungle. It was constructed on a terrain of a jungle....This repellent doesn't get absorbed, and it's so sticky. How is this going to last through the humidity? "

"Just accept it for what it is. No point getting American repellent. It does not work here. You will have to use a lot more." 

The solution to everything had become acceptance. Acceptance that some solutions may not always be easy to adapt to, but may be neccessary for your wellbeing. Therefore, accept everything for what it is, and difficult situations will frustrate you less. 

At school, I watched others apply American repellent and still get bitten by insects. I remember suggesting to buy local brands, because at the time, I believed that Congolese mosquitos and other insects had different and stronger biting strategies compared to American ones. However, no one took my word for it. 

After three years, a friend asked me, "Dude, why do you never get bitten?" 

I replied, "Dude, buy Congolese mosquitto repellent." 

"Does it have this strong perfume?"

"Ya, but it definitely fades away after an hour or so."

"Do you have to put a lot?" 

"Yes, a lot! But, beware of driver ants. Sometimes they sting. I know, because I got stung twice. " 

Lesson Three: 

Each problem has its own solution. Be flexible. 

Writer's Block (Lesson 2)

Welcome my friend, 

Please have a seat, 

Let me tell you about the time when I had a writer's block.

It begins with me staring at my fourth rough draft on my laptop screen, and attempting to elaborate on my one and only paragraph.

"This. This is the only thing I could come up within a span of two hours. Wow. This is actually horrible."  

As I re-read my one and only paragraph, my thoughts begin to sound like this: 

Write something. Anything. Something. One thing. Do something. Something. Anything. 

I feel stuck and unable to move forward in this process. I am lost in the actualities of life, but I feel content with how events are unfolding. 

Life being life is panning out things at the right time; so, life is going steadily well. 

Yet, the same song plays in the background: 

Write something. Anything. Something. One thing. Do something. Something. Anything. 

Eventually, I come to the conclusion that this stagnant state could be a part of inspiration, 

(brief pause)

Inspiration strikes!  

With a serious face on, I decide to talk about having a writer's block. Then, half-way through my post, I am unable to think of any more words to say, leading me back to square one, and possibly my fifth rough draft. 

What do I do? 

Post it. 

 

Lesson Two:

Be Your Authentic Self